i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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