a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
