The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize