If i come over, it means nothing
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
