i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
