I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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