If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
