You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
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