I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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