I think I died a long time ago.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
