My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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