I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
