I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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