Plan B is the new Plan A
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
