question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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