you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
