I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
