Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
