I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
