you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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