I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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