so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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