I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
