I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
