My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
