all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
