i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
