but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
