see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ladies don't puke and tell
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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