We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
