Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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