No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
