Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
