Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
