Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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