Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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