Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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