When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
