She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
