Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
My balls are so social today.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
