you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
oh god the rape fog is back!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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