We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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