i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
