I wish my penis had an off switch
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
