Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
God I need to hump something, right now.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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