Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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