I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize