i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
