i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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