After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
