I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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