Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
