look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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