Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
