i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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