So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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