i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize