the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
