Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
