you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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