I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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